Day 4 - cashew nibbling

I thought I'd be in agony after yesterday's session, but am actually feeling fine apart from feeling slightly sore.

I had about 6+ hours sleep last night, which is a good night. I still had to get into office for my 8am meeting though, which was with my whole team including those in India. They are a great bunch of people, and that set me off to a good start to the day. It was a team building session... Where everyone had to tell the team what made them smile this morning, and something important that was happening in their life at the moment.

What made me smile this morning was looking at my scales this morning and noting that I'm at 60.8!!! First time I've seen the digit 0 in there for a long time.

I have heard that carb derivation causes grogginess and stuff, but I think that my general feeling of tiredness and brain for is probably due more to my lack of sleep rather than the new diet.

I'm still hungry a lot. Despite the cashew nuts I'm nibbling. I bring a small handful to work, about 15.

The train home is feeling quite hot and muggy. 20c at the end of Sept. And looking forward to having egg vege soup for dinner.

Day 3 - chicken noodle soup without the noodle

I only had about 3.5 hours sleep because I had to complete my slides for today after the team dinner yesterday. By the time I finished and looked up at the clock it was already 1.30am!

Got up at 5 am for my second session with Jay. He was a little more merciless today, adding weights to each sets of whatever I was doing! Like Monday, I found myself being able to do the exercises I never thought I could, because of my knees. I marveled at how something so simple as changing focus, tensing specific muscles and shifting position even a little can make so much difference.

The lack of pain has given me a boost of confidence that this is going to work!

Lunch was the same as yesterday, spinach, roasted courgettes, toms and peppers, mackerel and hummus. I brought a small handful of cashew nuts which I am nibbling. I'd take about 3 nuts into a meeting and nibble it one teeny bit at a time to make them last. Funnily it works better than I thought, at staving off hunger.

Yes I do still feel hungry and I miss rice and noodles. But I am committed to this.

My day was very packed, and the project I'm on has been full-on for some of my team members. It's been a roller coaster ride for them (I just joined the team earlier this month) and I am trying to understand the internal dynamics and see how I can make things better. One of them was also going through an intense personal situation as well, and I'm glad she talked to me. All in all, a busy day.

And then I had to rush home so I can start my 7pm shift at a helpline I volunteer at, leaving my husband (who's absolutely amazing) to do yet another bedtime with the kids.

What can I eat that would be quick? Normally I'd make some instant noodles, egg and spinach (my mum used to do this when she had evening Buddhist meetings) which was both quick and satisfying. In a way that also made me feel comforted, as it reminded me of childhood and home. That's my relationship with instant noodles.

But I can't this time. I had already cooked two trays of chicken thighs I got from Costco last Sunday. I had spent more than an hour trimming the fat off which watching Person of Interest, and then seasoning with a little honey, soy sauce and shwartz's all seasoning. After 30 in the oven (which was a bit too long) I now have big box of chicken protein in the fridge.

So I made a little chicken soup with a bit of stock (I was told this is ok) and spinach and chicken. Not quite the same but it did the work!

I didn't have enough water but will need to rectify that tomorrow!

I got home from shift at 10, made the kids lunches, had a couple of teaspoons of hummus (because peckish), folded some laundry and in bed by 11.20pm.

I need to keep this up!

Day 2 - The lazy gene won the day. For today.

I promised to go over to my neighbours to do T25 at 6 am this morning, but she texted and said her baby was up all night and she was too shattered. So I went back to bed for a lie in. However I didn't drop off, even though I had only got to bed at 1.30am.

Nikki the childminder had hurt her foot, so called in sick. Which means it's drop off and pick up duty. Luckily my company lets me work from home.

I have my morning protein shake. I get the avo in there, but forgot the flax seed and cocoa. It wasn't too bad. I could get used to this.

Lunch was a 2 egg omelette with mushroom, courgettes and peppers. Jeff was working from home too, and he had the same thing. He is 6'2 and probably metabolises food very quickly. In fact, he eats a lot of cookies, chocolates, cakes and dessert with little obvious impact on his health or waistline. He was a tad dissatisfied. To be honest, me too.

I keep looking at the clock to find out when I can have my snack. 6-8 cashews based on the food plan. Thumb portion of fats.

Tonight was team dinner at a Thai restaurant. I just picked out the meat - chicken, pork, beef, and variety of vegetables. No rice meant that I still felt hungry.

I was sitting next to Kat, who lives and breathes this, so she was able to help me get the foods that I am 'allowed'. Maybe I should have had more meat, but I'm just really not a very 'meaty' person.

I'm going to have to get more creative with the recipes...

Day 1 - first step of my journey

So I decided that I sort of had enough. I didn't like it when my kids would takemy phone and snap pictures of me from random angles. I looked dumpy. Middle aged. Old.

I didn't feel it, but I looked it. I believe I'm a lot fitter than before the kids were born (the older twin boys have just turned 7). Definitely.  I bootcamp two mornings a week, did core abs sessions, and jogged about 10k every week. Nutribullet raw veg and fruits for breakfast, soup or salad for lunch, and eat normal for dinner (which does include rice, noodles and pasta, mind you).  But we do eat very late... Around 10, after I've got home, put the kids to bed, cleaned up the kitchen and started cooking. And I probably don't get enough sleep, maybe 4-5 hours on most weekdays.

3 years ago, I decided that turning 40 would be a new beginning. I was dreading the big number for some reason, but my lovely husband threw me a surprise party with my closest friends and family, reminding me how very lucky and loved I was. The only part of my life I wasn't happy with was my physical being.

So I got myself a personal trainer, and trained twice a week, doing routines myself for the other days. I also saw a nutritionist to get some advice. He did an analysis of my food intake (I gave him my food diary for 2 days) and told me what I already knew, and a few facts I didn't - such as iodine deficiency. 

After my pregnancy, I noticed that my left knee started to crunch, and I would get a sharp pain every time I went up steps. It got so bad that we had to change my car into an automatic as I could not depress the clutch without pain. So I had scans done, and I saw a physio. I did all the recommended exercises, got my PT to help me 'strengthen' knee muscles, and had physio sessions for about a year.

It took her a long time to figure out that my knee cap wasn't tracking. But nothing she recommended seemed to work. And I had been tired of not exercising because of the pain, so I got myself a knee strap and began exercising. It's been years, and the pain has been retarded somewhat (it has increased a little lately, which I have put down to aging and constant use and friction due to jogging and lunging and squatting). I've given up finding a fix, and have resigned myself to get on a 'pain management' routine.

I was doing all this, but I knew it wasn't 'joined-up' and I wasn't doing things right.

I am a fitter and healthier than I was before my 40s, but my weight didn't go down. I was a teeny bit leaner, but the flab was there. I didn't look good in family photos.

And I was at a loss. There must be something out there that could help me with this. I researched for awhile, and came across this body transformation programme in London. It promised results, and had a team to help you get to your goal. The programme included intense 3-4 times a week with a personal trainer, a food plan, sessions with the nutritionist and sports therapist. 

It's not cheap, as I expected. But I'm really committed to creating a change for life. It will be worth it.

So I went for my assessment last week, where I saw the nutritionist and the sports therapist.

My session with the sports therapist was quite uplifting. She identified my weak areas and said that she believed that I would be out of my knee straps within a few sessions. She specialised in sports rehabilitation, and felt confident that she would be able to help me. I was quite elated. To think that I am not on the way to 'decrepitdom' was fantastic, and that joint pain isn't inevitable as I had believed.

I was given a food plan of high protein, no carbon diet for 2 weeks, and a carb refeed on day 15. It looks like the food plan is going to be a tougher challenge than the training.

I shared the plan with Ross, an ex-colleague and friend who has qualified as a personal trainer and nutritionist, having rehabilitated himself after a spinal surgery years ago. (Coincidentally husband also had a very similar op around the same time).

He did not think very much of the food programme, which he said had some misinformation and unnecessary restrictions, and challenged quite a few points laid out. Fundamentally, he felt that it wasn't tailored to me, and that lasting change would be a challenge. Despite the criticism, he believes that it would still work, as a calorie deficit programme.

I feel very much reassured having him on my side, as I very much want a change that would last my whole life.

I've got an amazing family, and a great job. And I'd like to do what I love and enjoy being around my amazing little people for as long as I can.

So that's the preamble. I had chicken rendang and rice yesterday, with ice cream and gu lemon cheesecake. My last indulgence for awhile.

This morning, I had a protein shake - the recipe provided by the coach.

Breakfast Smoothie:

Water

1/4 avocado

1 scoop of protein

1 tsp of almond butter (meridian)

1 tsp ground flaxseed

1-2 handfuls of spinach

1 tsp of cocoa powder

I only had unripe avos, so left that out. It was OK though, almond butter does smell like peanut butter.  And I am now on my way to Bank for my first session.

That smoothie has made most of its way through my system. The train better get there soon as I can only hold on for so long!

I shall continue later with an update.
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So I've had my first introduction. Jay's my trainer, and he is nice. We started with stretching on the foam roller, first on my thighs (agonising!), then butt muscles and then calves. He spent a lot of time going through where he thought I should focus on, given my knee issues. Then stretching on the pecs and sides, followed by proper planking engaging the lower abs, and then both side planks.

The revelation probably came through during lunges, squats and kettle bells, traditionally exercises I didn't like due to my knees. However he got me to focus on trying to split the earth with my feet, and that made a huge difference to how my knees felt. It felt like the right muscles around my knees were engaged  correctly.

I forgot my cashew nut snacks and left my water bottle at the gym so I hadn't snacked today, and haven't drank enough water.

For dinner, I had smoked mackerel, roast peppers and courgettes, hummus, salad and Broccoli. It was OK, but not hugely satisfying.

But I have to work late tonight, so I won't be able to get to bed at 10 as advised, and thus my body won't be able to "make that hormone that promotes fat loss", I can't remember the name, cortisol? Sorbitol? Adrenaline? Cortisone?

Still hungry when I get to bed.